Category: poetry

i read the list
all of it makes sense
and in an instant
i dont remember
the words

my heavy heart
cringes
my eyes blur in
solitude
it is all true

failure is normal
just another symptom
of my gifted mind
wired wrong from
day one

i read the list again
hoping it has changed
convincing myself
this is not why
im a genius and a mess

author artist poet
friend lover confidant
son brother nephew
all fall short
somewhere

not enough to be complete
sufficent in quantity
lacking in depth
hiding my voice
and inexperience

jj-

so much was in him
for many years
he was strong
and faithful
to them all

over time he faded
his joints creaked
and ached
but he was brought back
by the ones he loved

in thunderous roar
and cold snowy eve
through hurt
and sadness
he was there

the old man
comforted them
sheltered their
tired bodies
against the world

even when they
were apart
there he was
waiting patiently
for all of them to return

away they go
soon to build
new lives
and dreams
and loves

forever he stands
in their hearts
and memories
for the next
to come to him

his arms open
ready to love them
and keep them safe
from the cold and sadness
the roar and the hurt

j-

fist pounds against metal
she staggers into it
it opens and she is there
shaky feet as she yells
the half empty bottle
spilling out
onto the front step

she confesses her sins
and stands there
waiting
hoping for embrace
and release
of a forgettable
night of sweat

that aroma
seeping from her
throat as she slurs
and kisses and
cusses
and touches
her invitation is
all too hard to ignore

her body is warm
and her heart is cold
yet still my arms find her
i kiss her forehead
the night so dark i dont
see her face as
i leave

i hope and wish
for more
that her breath will
not sting my eyes
that she will not
curse me for spending
the night in her bed

but the music is
deafening
heart on fire
her closeness
with conditions
her love
was casual

j-

he sat in the dark
wiping back the tears
spinning the gold on
his dry finger
wondering why it had
to be this way

she had always
been there
since they were children
holding hands
laughing at the world
praying for the best

their skin thinned
in their age
children grew old
but they had their
souls to appease
the fading memories

young and pigtailed
slender and spry
they took on the world
with youth and love
kind and patient
wonderful and decent

building their world
as they needed
wanting only
for each other
they were love
the purest form

he poured his heart
into her dying breath
holding her cold
frail aged hand
aching for more time
feeling her pain

his head against
her shoulder
afraid
to look into her eyes
as the sparkle he loved
sank into the dark

so he sat in the dark
shaking his head
feeling for his love
rolling the pristine
gold on his finger
asking for more time

j. jay-

early morning
my legs numb
and steely
from the abnormal
vigil
immense and placid
my gaze is the same
open or closed
my blind eyes
darting for a glimpse
a hue
a shade
a color
folded arms
worn gray warmth
pulled over my bone
hard fingers
shuffling
feeling for anything
but the darkness
my world is
in front of me
if i only knew
which way to stand
turn
and walk coldly

jj-

the wind invites my stride
pushing my heels
against the world
arms spread
fingers hard
and clenched
gazing through
the dark green
my heart lifts
digging heels
lighter beneath me
piercing pale blue
deafening screech
rushing past my ears
opening my fingers
touching the open world
in the clouds
the haze below
the blackness above
feet free from the world
mind untethered from the earth

memories of me
when i was happier
i was someone
they all knew my name
all cowered in my shadow

it was me they feared
the gaze i sent through
their weak souls
leaving deep holes
of confusion and
pain

i grinned
the fear and hate
made me strong
they all ran
no one was safe

memories of me
when i was happier
i was someone
they all knew my name
all cowered in my shadow

in my fists
pure anger and torture
they will cower again
at my deep wanton
destruction

i terrified myself
with all that i kept in
my fists relax
the rage stops
it all seems unreal

memories of me
when i was happier
i was someone
they all knew my name
all cowered in my shadow

i sit in my old chair
no longer mad
as aged as this seat
that relaxes my weak
body

they do not
cower
all praise
at my passing
it ends

memories of me
when i was happier
i was someone
they all knew my name
all cowered in my shadow

j–