awkward feet
stinging in worn
shoes
drenched with mud
shame and sweat
stabs in chest
hurt
from the cold air
tired hands
shaking in the dark
trembling
searching
found her
silent, cold
blue and
alone
her chest
is still
her breasts
do not heave
he would gaze
from afar
as she curved
and softened
he felt her
marble cold face
touched the skin
he longed for
took her innocence
she never lost
when red love coursed
in her thighs
in the dead blue night
the solid hard still cold
the steps are small
darting and weaving
for sure footing
to find the journey end
feet entwined
stumbled
reaching for
familiar and exquisite
i find her
her tear soaked
chin
her warm chest
fumbled hands
know the skin
that has never touched his
it is calm
serene
pure
and still he cries
not hearing her voice
but feeling her words
in the still warm comfort.
Banana boxes
filled with books
and journals
sit outside the door
Garbage bags
stretched thin
with clothes
and twisted hangers
Dusty frames
off of the wall
in a twisted tower
they lay
Ready for the jump
divots in the carpet
holes in the walls
empty closets
It will all make sense
soon
even if it’s confusing
and new
They cry for their life
they smile for the new
they hold hands
and journey ahead.
Banana boxes
filled with books
and journals
sit outside the door
Garbage bags
stretched thin
with clothes
and twisted hangers
Dusty frames
off of the wall
in a twisted tower
they lay
Ready for the jump
divots in the carpet
holes in the walls
empty closets
It will all make sense
soon
even if it’s confusing
and new
They cry for their life
they smile for the new
they hold hands
and journey ahead.
radiant wit
unbridled lust
amazing humor
glowing beauty.
her.
she cries every day
she can’t sleep
her anger and pain
is heard through
the distances.
he listens
and cries for her
his heart sinks
and melts
in the same breath.
they close
their eyes and
listen
hope
wish.
she keeps him
steady
every day
radiant
and beautiful.
soon the days
and nights will
be complete
as it should
always have been.
the tears end
and the smiles
are bigger
and the hearts
know
what they needed.
j-
jake sat with his friends
in the same uniform
with the same lunch
laughed at the same
jokes
tv shows
kids
maddy stood outside with her friends
different clothes
puffed a clove cigarette
didn’t laugh at the same
jokes
tv shows
kids
jake walked home with his buddies
maddy kicked rocks alone
jake came home to love
maddy’s mom is never home
jake went out to a movie
maddy sulked in her room
jake walked to school
with maddy
they held hands
and kissed
and talked
about their love
maddy walked to the bleachers
jake walked to class
maddy bummed a smoke
jake did the work
maddy cursed overachievers
jake yelled at the goth kids
button down shirts
scuffed black boots
perfect slacks
holes in old jeans
perfect hair
black eyes
they walked home
holding hands
smiling
kissing
together
still alone
j-
sat alone on the first day
was the only one
everyone watched
fingers tingled
head heavy and pounding
sat alone on the first day
wasnt the only one
watched everyone
hands sweaty
head heavy in thought
sat alone for many days
with new friends
that did not know
or understand
or care
sat alone for many days
with old friends
that knew
and understood
and cared
sat alone for many years
with no one
with pen and paper
eyeglasses
pouring it into the blank
sat alone for many years
with myself
with my drawings
visions
keeping them close to me.
j-
I don’t really know what it means… usually I just sit here and try to let the words come through. Sometimes I tell a story and it’s just random- sometimes I tell a story and the words repeat in some oddly read pattern. I’m not sure if I’m any good at this poetry stuff. People tell me I am, but in my experience something as subjective as poetry can always be considered “good.” Like modern art. A dot on a large white canvas is “genius.” All I see is a lazy artist that can’t finish his artistic obligation.
i read the list
all of it makes sense
and in an instant
i dont remember
the words
my heavy heart
cringes
my eyes blur in
solitude
it is all true
failure is normal
just another symptom
of my gifted mind
wired wrong from
day one
i read the list again
hoping it has changed
convincing myself
this is not why
im a genius and a mess
author artist poet
friend lover confidant
son brother nephew
all fall short
somewhere
not enough to be complete
sufficent in quantity
lacking in depth
hiding my voice
and inexperience
jj-
so much was in him
for many years
he was strong
and faithful
to them all
over time he faded
his joints creaked
and ached
but he was brought back
by the ones he loved
in thunderous roar
and cold snowy eve
through hurt
and sadness
he was there
the old man
comforted them
sheltered their
tired bodies
against the world
even when they
were apart
there he was
waiting patiently
for all of them to return
away they go
soon to build
new lives
and dreams
and loves
forever he stands
in their hearts
and memories
for the next
to come to him
his arms open
ready to love them
and keep them safe
from the cold and sadness
the roar and the hurt
j-