darkness that is almost
deafening.
one red hot dot.
a car passes by
and I see the curve
of her body.
I can see her
birthmark,
and that scar when we
got drunk and smashed
bottles behind the
drug store.
she takes a long drag
and tells me that she
can’t do it anymore.
it’s not high school-
we aren’t kids now.
she pretends that she wants more,
that she wants to go to college
and wear a lab coat.
she just wants to steal
oxycodone from work.
I think back to that night.
When she kidnapped me.
took me to the lake
sitting on a picnic table-
hearing soundgarden
and weezer
in the distance..
from her white Merkur.
beers and shots
came out in the dark
I can’t see what
I’m drinking
‘take me home’ falls out of me.
I can’t handle the unknown.
I go back
to when we would
walk home from school
in the 5th grade.
It’s not the same.
j-